2013 Numbers

Miles

Jan: 178
Feb: 253
Mar: 286
Apr: 303
May: 155
Jun: 269
Jul: 350
Aug: 439
Sep: 338
Oct: 270
Nov: 306
Dec: 228

Total: 3,375 miles
Vert: 475,000 ft

1,241 more miles than 2012

Cheers!

Get outside.

Heaven and Hell

I was a pilot, my body an airplane. We were flying through hell, complete with snow, sleet, rain, and fog. My mouth repeated, "you don't have to run fast, just run steady." My voice said, "you're doing great. You're nailing this." My body winced and smiled. My stride felt phenomenal... My crew yelled, "he's less than two minutes and WALKING! GET HIM!" I told Glove I was crushing the descents but not the ups. He said, "fake it."

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Hellgate. That 66.6 mile SPECIAL race that starts at 12:01am in the middle of December. This year called for true hellgate weather--snow, rain, ice, cold. People's corneas freeze over every year. It's incredible. Last year at hellgate I was happy to be selected to run the race. It's hard to get into and I felt part of a special, tough, inspiring group of people.  Last year I ran well with Guy, a best friend and training partner, all night long but fell apart as the day went on. I didn't eat enough, didn't take care of myself at aid stations, and was forcing myself to make the top 10, which I didn't. This year I wasn't going to make those mistakes. I ran insane mileage this summer and some good races this fall. After Grindstone was cancelled my goal turned to Hellgate. I realized that I hadn't set a lofty goal in a long time. I was going to destroy myself during hell.
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I took two endurolytes, on the verge of hamstrings cramping the past two hours, and shoved a mouthful of saltines in my mouth and took off out of the last aid station. Easy as three miles up, three miles down. Last year this was where I lost top 10--I walked literally the whole climb. It's a big climb-- 1250 feet in 2.2 miles but IS hard-runnable due to it being on a forest road. I put my head down and resolved to catch second place, Frank Gonzales. It was just like that the last 11 hours. Put your head down, smile, and run. I caught Frank in a little less than a mile and gave him a fist pound. I paused my music to exchange encouragement and kept it paused to see if he'd make chase. Nope. His pacer yelled at him, "YOUR NOT GIVING UP YET! GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR GONZALEZ!" I thought, "man that's a good pacer."

I kept running to make the gap insurmountable. At the almost peak of the mountain I opted to hike. I consciously thought, "there's no way Eric is close." And then I walked for maybe three minutes. I crested the ridge and the radio operator said, "first is four minutes up." I thought, "four minutes. Three miles" and took chase. I didn't think, "four minutes, let's catch him." My body instead of my mind just wanted it this time. My body was enjoying itself like it was making love with the mountains. It chased. My eyes peaked down the road as far as I could at each turn but never saw Eric Grossman. Still, push push push. There he was. The last stretch. 800 meters ahead. Then 700. 600. 500. 400. Make the turn into Camp Bethel. The finish is in 400 meters. 300, 200, 100 meters. Running out of real estate nearing the finish line, I told Brad Hinton's crew, "give me another quarter mile!" But another quarter mile wasn't there. I crossed the finish line in 11:25:55, eight seconds behind Eric for second place. He didn't know I was behind him, so he probably would have out-kicked me if he looked back. But it doesn't really matter.

-----------------
I never really entertained the idea of winning hellgate. I knew I could get top 5. Hell, I told my mom before the race that "I'm either going to get third or finish in 16 hours the way my week has gone." Flash back to Thanksgiving and I was texting Guy. I told him I ran a surprisingly quick 5k. I beat Eric's Thanksgiving 5k. Glove said that that meant I was going to beat him at Hellgate. I laughed. Eric is a legend. I've admired his humble and kind demeanor, plus insane speed since I knew of him through Guy three years ago. I've poured over his blog trying to learn from the best. In one post he spoke about running with alacrity. That word has been on a sticky note in my computer background since I read it a year ago. So I never thought I'd come close to beating Eric. He earned the W by running hard from the get go. My head was spinning when we took the finish line photo. Was I really standing next to David Horton and Eric Grossman?

Incredible company.

-------------------

How did I get to be chasing second and first place? I race progressively, unintentionally. I'm typically in the 20s place wise until the last part of the race where I "blitz" in and pass gobs of folks. I didn't want to run that way at Hellgate this year. I didn't want to make up huge chunks of time. So I went out with the people I knew who would run well and run fast---Sam Dangc, Brad Hinton, Jordan Whitlock, Shaun Pope, Jordan Chang, Keith Knipling. We and a few other people ran in a pack through the first aid station after a little wrong turn. It was quick, but I wasn't breathing as hard as everyone else seemingly. The climb up to AS2 came and the pack strung out. I ran with Sam for a bit, then I opted to hike as he ran away. I turned off my headlamp to calm down and enjoy the early night.

Hellgate start. 12:01 am. Photo: Steven Hinzman

I ran solo post aid station 2, then up the climb to camping gap I chased Shaun Pope. Generally I hiked most of of the climb. I passed Shaun, not having his day, and found myself at the gap after being passed by Bruce Udell, a Wisconsinite. Then the snow came. GOBS of snow. Like you can't see more than five feet in front of you. Flakes an inch in diameter. Magical. White snow juxtaposed against the black night. Winter wonderland.  Then it turned to cold. Wet. No more friendly winter wonderland. I put on my outer layer which was not waterproof. My core was too warm but my head was wet and cold. Not the best combo. I started to get tired. 2:30am, where I should either be partying back at Virginia Tech, or asleep like normal folks. I popped in some tunes and put my head down. Thankfully Bruce stayed about 200 meters ahead this whole section and I was able to follow his headlamp, cause I couldn't see anything else besides that little white smear ahead of me.

Descending, the snow turned to freezing rain but eventually stopped. I caught Sam and Jordan Whitlock who were "just relaxing" in the snow. I tried to make conversation but I think they were tired too. I stuck with them but mostly led until the final decent into the breakfast aid station, mile "27.6" but is really the 50k mark. 5:15 50k split, why yes, I will take that. I saw my crew and took my time to do what I needed. Took off my base layer, grabbed pancakes (yum!), and some words of encouragement. Out of the aid, I dropped my right glove. Rut row. I used my buff to wrap my hand, adapting. Sam, joking and leaning on his crew's car, said, "Rudy I'm done man!" I said, "no way dude lets get this climb together!" With races this long, I am ALL about working together, competing together until the natural time comes where you make a move. I was a little up from Jordan and Sam heading up the climb but elected to walk slowly to wait for them to catch up. We took the climb quite casually. Brad Hinton caught up to us and Jordan and I tucked behind him for the next five miles or so. He was running the ups really well but the downs were easy. Jordan and I never let him get too far ahead while climbing up to lookout mountain.

Taking time to do things right. Pancakes in hand!

Happy at 5am

Out of lookout mountain aid station I was ready to run alone. I didn't really think, "this is where you make a move." It was entirely too early for that. The two mile downhill out of the AS is just so cruise-able, so that's what I did. Daylight came on this section. I was happy. My legs had been feeling great all night long. With sunrise always comes new energy. I looked around, now on singletrack, and it was indeed a winter wonderland. A special moment. I thought for sure that Brad, Bruce, or Jordan were going to catch back up to me during this section but I didn't want them to so I ran pretty hard. I planned to run hard here and then take the next section easier.

I ran into bearwallow gap, mile 45, in third place. Here my crew was fantastic as they had been. They took my headlamp and switched my pack for a simple bottle. For the rest of the race I was able to go light with just 13oz of water and a couple gels for each section. I do think my crew saved me 10 minutes. They were awe.some. Last year I rushed out of this AS. Not this time. I knew what I had to do (eat my PB&J) and did.

Into Bearwallow. Photos: Wyatt Lowermilk

No rushing.

The planned substantial homemade PB&J

The next section is wonderful, the "ins and outs" of the mountain. I hiked mostly and turned off music to relax. Still 20 miles to go. Don't get too eager here. I got a little delirious and started having a couple small hallucinations that turned back into trees but audibly told myself, "you're seeing things. stop." And then they stopped.

From Boblett's gap to the finish was a 15 mile tempo run. I vigorously hiked the ups during the forever section and still crushed the downs like I had been all day. My body, the airplane, was responding to everything I was doing, processing food and running. Well-oiled, I was only moderately surprised at how well I was running. All the miles and workouts were showing their dividends. Coming into the last aid station my crew was stoked. Their excitement was contagious. You know how it ends.

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Before the race started I was legitimately so nervous I was scared. Same thing as last year during the pre-race briefing, so fidgety and nervous. I never get that nervous. Only for Hellgate. I knew what I'd be going through and in the front of my mind I frankly didn't really want to put myself through it. But the back of my mind knew I was due to crush it. I love Hellgate. Dr. Horton is an incredible man and his race is so special. Really, I fancy myself good with words but when it comes to describing Hellgate and Horton, I can't. Special. My public internet thank yous do not suffice! But I will try. Dr. Horton--thank you. Volunteers--thank you, so encouraging and selfless! Fellow runners--thank you. Crew--thank you. Friends--thank you. Family--thank you for the prayers. Everyone makes this event special and I'm just filled with happiness that I got to be a part of it two years in a row. So much love.

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Back in early November I was looking for Hellgate quotes to put on the t-shirt. I found one from an artic explorer that in fact made it on the back of the shirt. Applicable.

"It appears that a Hell [gate] one day is liable to make a Heaven the next." - Raymond Priestly

Intimate briefing. Photo: Scott Livingston

The man who made east coast ultrarunning

12:00am 

Too happy!

Fun at the Crooked Road "24" Hour

Ahh, what've we been up to lately? Seems like I finally settled down into the semester once November started and I got my Grindstone revenge races out of the way. Since then I've been way more of a balanced person, running around 70-80 mile weeks instead of 90-100. I spent some incredible alone time on the Hellgate course one weekend, threw a couple parties, ran a dope beer mile, and have been doing loads of job-related activities. My newfound academic love, urban forestry, looks like it's going to take me to a CITY. I'm intrigued to see what my running will look like this time next year. I have three pretty great job prospects in three different and distinct cities, so we'll have to see!

In my post-Gstone rage when I signed up for four races, one of them happened to be my first timed event, the Crooked Road 24 Hour. I'll start by saying timed events are AWESOME. I imagine they are what trail races were 10 years ago. Pressure is nonexistent, everyone has vastly different goals, and all types of people are there. You stop when you want to stop, run when you want to run, and walk when you want to walk. Nobody is really beating anybody; it's very much so a "help everyone achieve their goals" instead of "I'm going to beat you" type atmosphere. These folks aren't biased runners yet they're still most definitely ultrarunners. These timed races typically take place on 1-mile loop courses, which lets everyone get to know everybody. I met a couple Hokie alumni, two other college ultrarunners from another school (!), caught up with teammates, and accomplished my goal for the day.

Team early on! Photos: Ricky Scott

Everybody smiling!

That goal? Running a steady 40 miles at Crooked Road. The ultimate goal? Crushing Hellgate 100k+ in three weeks. To me, crushing Hellgate means certainly placing in the top 10, hopefully in the front half, hitting a PR if weather permits, laying all I have out on the course, and having a fun day. It's been a loong while since I've left everything out on a course it seems. Even though I ran a really great race at Tussey Mountainback (and didn't think so at the time) I felt like I could have kept going. I want to finish Hellgate knowing that I can't continue. Time myself so perfectly that my last ounce of effort is stepping across the finish line. I haven't set lofty goals for myself since...when? Grindstone was a goal in and of itself, but I ran Hellgate last year and now know what it's about. I'm setting high goals, especially after I know what I can do now, as well as seeing my teammates DESTROY it at Mount Masochist three weeks ago.

Ok, ok. Crooked Road. The goal was to run a steady 40 miles. And I defined consistency. Give or take 10 seconds, I ran all 42 laps (40 miles) at 8:15 pace. The first hour was spent with the UltraVT gang (Brett, Glove, Wyatt, Jordy, + Joe Dudak) and felt a little quick, esp for the guys planning on running all 24 hours. We eventually got smart and thinned out to our own paces, and I found myself running with Jordy for about 20 miles. Love running with Jordy. We work well together, have good convos when we need to speak, and run in silence when we don't need to speak. Hoping to spend a good chunk of Hellgate together. He's also the best Physical Therapist in the world. I had an extremely knotted calf which laid me out for the first half of this week, and he fixed me right up.

Nothing too crazy happened during my first 40 miles. I'm getting good at running a just-below tempo pace, a pace that's not comfortable but won't make me blow up. I was pumped once I finished the 40 miles. Now that my run was finished, my goal shifted to help everyone else. I ran with Joe for a couple laps as he was suffering from a little boredom. At one point he said, "dude I think I'm going to take up knitting." Ahaha. Wyatt also suffered from boredom. Glove suffered from lack of motivation. I can't blame any of them--one mile loops for 24 hours...man. It is a very unique challenge though. It's definitely something I want to do in the future.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing, running/walking a lap here and there, and cracking a beer during a lap which was a classic UltraVT moment. The 24 hour community was tight, and I look forward to doing another sometime in the near future. I think one in the spring/summer/fall would be better for more daylight and more moderate temperatures. My first 24 hour would be to finish all 24 hours for sure, which would be over 100 miles most definitely. It's an interesting PACE YOURSELF game. I'd have to implement a run/walk routine no doubt. Anywho, it's thanksgiving time now. I'm thankful for my team, my ability to run, and health...among other things :)

All Hokies ran 50 miles! Always fun when we get to celebrate running together.

Cheers.

Michael Jordan. Earp practicing too.

Before it got freezing.


Some dope jams. 

Friends & Miles

So much foliage! Photos: Mike Jones

Ya can't beat a good road trip. I'm lactose intolerant. Apparently I can still look fresh when having stomach and leg issues. Fifty miles is my favorite distance. I enjoy races that aren't billed to be the "toughest or gnarliest" where you actually run. Running fast (read: steady) is fun and hard. My feet hurt. I prefer sleeping in tents than beds. I have awesome friends. 

Off to Pennsylvania! Photo: Mike Jones 

Saturday morning light

Just wear half-sized too small shoes. Photo: Glove

Da Crew. 

The best way to wake up

Fighting off cramps with smiles

Huge PR!!!  Photo: Abby Drey

Post trip, happily fried.

In Defense of "Roadies"

Ultrarunners label road-running folks as "roadies." Roadies typically run shorter distances or marathons. Ultrarunners give them a negative connotation as they're a more cut-throat group of people as a whole. They're worried about pace, pace, pace, times, exact distances, and are generally not friendly while racing. So us ultra-trail folk tend to look down upon roadies. In the 50k distance races, a few roadies will show up and destroy the rest of the field, cause let's face it, they're really fast with all that literal running they do. When that happens, as it does at the Holiday Lake type races (roadies usually shy away from the mountain runs), a typical conversation between two ultra trail folks goes like this:

"He ran WHAT!? That's insanely fast."
"Yeah, he's a roadie."
"Ohhh, makes sense. Ok." (Shrug. thinks: won't be seeing him at the real ultras)
End of conversation

But I'm writing this post in defense of the what roadies do, and advocate not looking down on them. Why? Because running the same cadence and the same tempoish pace for more than two hours is tough. We ultrarunners think of toughness as "My body is super tired, but I'm still going to slog through this long run today even though I shouldn't." Or, "I didn't fuel right and my race is going to hell, but I'll deathmarch it in." Or the classic, "I'm injured but refuse to DNF because I'm tough." These views of toughness that ultrarunners have aren't very healthy as you can imagine. Sure, you have to push through hard times, but I'm saying that running how roadies run is equally if more not "hard" than what ultra folks do. It's just different. Not bad, not good, just different. And we're all runners, so there needs to be a friendlier connection between the road folks and the trail folks. Trail folks are usually elitist ("I can't even stand FIRE ROADS UGH. That race had way too much road. I haven't ran on the road since 2000. What do you mean you don't have lagunitas IPA?") and say stupid shit like that. Running's running dudes.

 Beauty. Thinking, "How many more miles at this pace?" 

I ran the New River Trail 50k yesterday which was essentially a road 50k (very finely crushed gravel, basically pavement) that defines flat. I ran the same cadence and same pace for 3:53:49. I backhalfed the race, but that steady effort level and same motion of the legs is HARD. I enjoyed the race despite not feeling awesome. It was so good to run long again after a frustrating taper that had minimal mileage. Perhaps it wasn't as enjoyable compared to a mountain 50k, but it was different and I couldn't've run much faster. It was fun to run a different kind of race and I have faith in the roadie population. I'm excited to see what Tussey Mountainback 50 miler has next week. I'm sure I'll get my butt kicked cause it's the 50 mile national championships, but I'm interested to see the roadie-ultra crossover there as it's a flat forest road 50. The social dynamics of types of running is fascinating.

Photos: Melissa Peddy

More of this next weekend :)

The Grindstone That Never Was

1,420 miles
258 hours of total training time
Deflated.

Those are the totals of my 100% focused Grindstone 100 training that started on June 1st, 2013. All for...the government to shut down and therefore cancel Grindstone. Because Grindstone is a race in a national forest, a special permit is required and a ranger has to be present at the event. The shutdown furloughed all available people who could oversee Grindstone.  So, technically speaking, I trained a whole effing lot and spent enormous amounts of mental energy and monetary funds for nothing, no race. Sort of.

Initially I was extremely frustrated, way more emotional than my fellow UltraVT gstoners. I got the "suspension" email in class, and I stood up and left. I called Glove and my mom, venting. I spent the next few days hoping desperately that the government would resume. I thought I'd go run 100 miles anyway. I came down with a cold which was undoubtedly stress-induced. Test week, presentation week, and supposedly running 100 miles is a busy week.

After spending way too much energy trying not to be mad (but lets face it, you can't not be frustrated/mad/angry/sad/irritated when your goal for the year has been crushed by outside forces) I eventually became fed up. Grindstone wasn't going to happen anyway if Doucher John Boehner won't even let the House of Representatives vote.

I'm over it. I'm not running a 100 miler this year. I'm exhausted after training so hard and not being satisfied with the end result. To do it well it takes a lot of literal energy. I put in the miles and the taper already. I'm over it, I'm not motivated to do that again soon. I walked down a mountain this past Sunday. That says a good bit.

BUT.
I'm looking at the positives

I recall one long training run with Glove this summer where we spoke, "no matter what happens at Grindstone, this summer was a success." I got in the best shape I've ever been in. I saw tons of trails, I explored new places, I ate a lot, I lost body fat without losing weight, drove a lot. I had a purpose and lived my purpose. I was extremely satisfied with my training. I stayed healthy, uninjured. I went for 30 mile training runs that became routine, no big deal. It was incredible and so much fun.  Every day was magical.

Even though I didn't achieve my yearly goal of running Grindstone, I can't change that. So there's no point in fighting it.

What now? Well, that's a tough question. I'm in 100 mile shape which means I'm good at running really long and really slowly. Since there aren't many 100s in the fall and I don't feel like putting in that effort anymore I have to change my expectations for this fall. No competing, just running and having fun. I'm not going to fool myself that I can run quickly right now. My motivation to "train" is nonexistent, but my motivation to get outside and run is still high. Which leads me to my plans. I'm still going to run when I want to run, but I'm not going to make myself get out there because I feel like I have to train. I nixed a 10 miler on Thursday to bike with my roommate instead. I want to race something, so I'm signed up for the New River Trail 50k which is an extremely flat 50k, the opposite of Grindstone. Next Sunday I'm going to run Tussey Mountainback 50 miler, again a flat course mostly of road. I'm intentionally not going to try Mount Masochist cause expectations exist within the Lynchburg Ultra Series that I don't want on me. Hopefully I'll clock PRs at the 50k and 50mile distance and boost the confidence by that. HELLGATE is the second weekend in December, right smack dab in the middle of exams. I've looked at Hellgate as an end-of-year celebration, and I'll be partying all night long. Just running races to enjoy the comradeship and outdoors. Who knows, I'll probably even sign up for a local 24 hour race as a supported fun run.

Here's to the positives!

Stepped on this copperhead  (foreground) Sunday! Photo: Jordan Chang

New tunes from one of my fav bands:

20 Questions Worth Answering Honestly

Editors note: This blog turned out way longer than I had anticipated. It's essentially a journal entry for myself, posted publicly so people can critique and support. I suggest skimming unless you REALLY want to know stuff about me. 

Alastair Humphreys has an awesome blog. He's known for "microadventures" which are practical and logistically easy outings that don't take an incredible amount of resources. He's a writer and posts a ton. Some of his stuff is golden and others are frivolous (as are most blogs). His latest post falls into the former category. He poses 20 questions to answer honestly and publicly. I thought it was a great idea, so voila, an interesting and personal questionnaire.

1. Do you earn enough money? Yes. Not really a practical question as I'm not yet completely reliant on myself for income (thank you parents.) I really don't need any more money than I made this past summer to support my extracurricular habits. I anticipate this question to be an interesting one a year from now. Who knows where I'll be and what I'll be doing!?

2. Do you enjoy your job? I suppose my job now is "student" for one last year. I really do enjoy it because it's so much more than just sitting in class. In regards to that part, I either hate a class or love it. I LOVE my urban forestry class and read the supplemental material (gasp!) but I could care absolutely less about my environmental policy and planning class. I'm required to take that, so I just suck up those classes. Moreso than being a student in class though is the social aspect of it. It's tiring, but it's an amazing luxury. Everybody around me is relatively my own age. Everybody's going through the same stuff. Every day is different. Work loads fluctuate. Drinks are cheap.

3. Do you prefer Saturday or Monday? Great question. I'm with probably 99% of the population here still--Saturdays. I'm NOT in the "Mondays suck" or "I have a case of the Mondays" group though. I try to be more positive than that. I can make Mondays better by taking a chunk of my day to do something that I want to do, not have to do. I need to brainstorm an idea to make each day of the week special. Every day should be awesome. At least I recognize that. Work to do.

4. What would you like to be doing one year from now? I'll be realistic. OUT WEST. Colorado, Oregon, Northern northern California, Washington. One of those. I hope to have a job with a company I enjoy working for, doing something where I am NOT looking at the clock waiting to go run. I want a job where I can enjoy what I'm doing and be fully immersed in that for the work day. I had this fantasy to never do a "real job" (AKA be a guide) but I've figured out that's not for me. I want a real job, but a real job doesn't have to have the negative connotation that I associate with the phrase. I'd like to be living in an area where I have EASY access to MOUNTAINS. I'd like to be working for a private urban forestry company gaining experience in that field. I'd like to be worry free, have a group of positive-minded and supportive friends who I can adventure with, and maybe a girlfriend man. If I can make a majority of those things happen I'd be stoked. I can.

5. What would you like to be doing five years from now? Woof. Rough question. My ideal situation would be living in a rural-ish area, doing a small commute (via bike) into a city/suburb to do an established job conducting tree health assessments for an urban forestry company. Geography is obviously a big part for me. I'd like to have had five big trips under my belt. One big trip a year, someplace different, gaining experience, backpacking, running, climbing, exploring, whatever all of the above. I want to still be "funhogging." Healthy. Have a way to remain fit and pushing myself physically, weather that be running or something else. I'd like to be stable financially. Steady girlfriend or a wife. Or just a dog.  I need to make the trip thing a priority. That gets me stoked.

6. What would you do with your life if you were a billionaire? Travel the world and live simply. Buy a huge chunk of land and manage multi-use style. I can live a modified version of that life but in smaller chunks with my one huge trip a year. Smaller trips in between. Buying land would have to come waaay later.

7. How much could you cut your outgoings by? Odd question. Not sure if I understand it. The dude who made this list is British? If I cut my outgoings I'd be a hermit. Gotta maintain friendships even if you don't want to at the specific time.

8. Do you have enough spare time to do the things you really enjoy? Oh yea. College can be mega busy, but its in spurts and not really scheduled. I get out frequently.

9. What takes up a lot of your time but is neither unavoidable, rewarding, nor enjoyable? I'm not sure actually. I'd say Facebook and twitter. But then I wouldn't see these cool lists like this. I dunno. Bad answer by me. Cop out.

10. What mildly pleasant, but pretty pointless things do you fritter too much time doing? Ok, definitely Facebook and twitter. Reading blogs and iRunFar. I'm getting better at not spending so much time though, I don't read all peoples tweets anymore or every word in their blog. I'm skimming.

11. What would you like to do more of? Read. Write :)

12. What motivates you to do something well? Man such a good question. I think doing something well motivates me to do it well? My personality places value on only a certain small number of things, but I focus 100% on them and do it extremely well. Case in point Grindstone. My preparation has been FOCUSED and quality. And fun.... that's not a very good answer though. I need to improve on this question. I used to try and prove things to people. That's so unhealthy.

13. Who do you envy, and why? Envy? Eeek. I actually think I envy happy people. I struggle with "happiness." On one hand I love what I do, but on another hand I feel like there are people out there positive and friendly and happy-go-lucky most times, whereas I'm just melancholy. That's my personality though. Hmph. I envy people who don't care what others think. I think they go hand in hand.

14. If you were 100 and looking back on your life, would you be happy with a life well-lived? Meh. I need to do more things that I enjoy and stop following people. I was always a solo flyer, kind of doing my own thing, but lately I feel like I'm just following the "ultra scene." I need to find something that I want to do, then do lots of it in moderation.

15. What makes you proud, satisfied, and content? Pushing myself and figuring out things about myself. Being at the end of my rope, and ending something with a smile on my face and not comparing my results to others. Making my parents and good friends proud.

16. What makes you frustrated, bored, and unfulfilled? Wasting time. Waiting for other people. Wanting to be social but not going out. Looking for lost things. Buzzwords. Thinking about the past. Comparing myself to others (social media does not help this).

17. What would you do if you had more talent? Play sports professionally. Not go to class.

18. What would you do if you had more guts? Ask more people uncomfortable questions. Ask girls out.

19. What would you do with your life if nobody was watching, judging, or commenting? Live in the middle of nowhere. Ab.so.lute.ly. no.where.

20. What are you going to do about all this? MAKE BETTER ANSWERS NEXT YEAR! haha. Nah. I'm going to look at this a year from now and evaluate where I'm at. I'm going to give away half my clothes. I'm going to go on a crazy trip this year. I'm going to spend less time on twitter and facebook. I'm going to find something special to do each day of the week. Boom.

Rough fall at midnight coming off of Priest

Priest and 3 Ridges. Last big run. Time to rest.

IMTR 50. Feeling!

For two years now I've elected to spend my birthday weekend running ultras. Iron Mountain Trail Run (IMTR) is a quintessential grassroots trail race with distances of 16, 30, and 50 miles. The entry fee is $25, you don't get a t-shirt unless you want to pay extra, aid stations are stocked with the essentials, there's no blow-up banner at the finish line or chip timing, the field is 200 people, the trail is gnarly, and everyone is a friend. It's basically the best race out there, and with less than two hours from VT it's an easy choice for a summer run and a birthday present to me! I'm 22 now. Feeling adultish.

Because IMTR is so awesome it's been on my calendar all year. The timing for it is almost perfect in terms of a very long run in the Grindstone 100 build. August was insane for me in terms of training, perhaps too much, as I became a little sick of running. That's funny because now I completely identify myself as an ultrarunner. It's the "weird thing about yourself" that I tell when you do those "state your name-major-odd thing about yourself" introduction exercises. So school started this past week and it was one chaotic mess that left me grumpy and mad on Friday afternoon. I didn't want to run, let alone run for nine hours. I didn't want to deal with team logistics or mainly people in general. I was so fed up with "the system" of school and whatnot. I just wanted to sit by the pool on a sunny Friday afternoon and enjoy the first weekend of school where EVERYONE at tech goes out for late night fun. I called my mom and elected not to run IMTR. Then I took a nap and didn't set an alarm.

I slept for almost three hours. I woke up and felt better. I thought I should at least try out my gear/nutrition and whatnot, so what the heck, I'll just drive down to Damascus and see what happens. I was considering dropping down to the 30 mile option. But that's long already so why not just do the 50 and reap those benefits. I ended up having a really nice late and solo drive down listening to good tunes with the windows down on a summer night. I slept in my car in a church parking lot and had a dream where I got mugged by a couple of kids in Chicago.

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My intention for IMTR from the start was to just use it as a supported long training run. My teammates had hopes/plans to run fast which was hard for me to swallow because A) when they race, I race and want to beat them (yes, I am competitive deep down) and B) I knew I wouldn't beat them because I've been training hard and I didn't rest this week; I knew they'd be ahead of me. So when the gun went off at 7am, I knew I'd be running a solo race. And I was cool with that for the most part.

I always write too much, so I won't get into it all, even though a lot of nothing happens in an 8.5 hr run. Basically I ran the majority of the race alone and was happy to do so. I sporadically let my ears enjoy the sounds the love of my life makes. I got caught in an INCREDIBLE severe thunderstorm on top of a ridge. Soaked to the bone, jumping in puddles, feeling the lovely solitude, the rain was figuratively washing away all of my cares. I no longer cared how fast I was running, what place I was going to get, how much I was getting my ass kicked by Jordy or Guy, what Horton would think. All that mattered was that I was having fun for myself. I was simply running JOYFULLY. This is why I run. I run to feel free as cliche as it is. To experience the vast spectrum of physical, emotional, and abiotic states. To feel as if nothing else in the world matters besides what I do at a single moment in time right then and there. No pressure exists. No egos exist, no world problems, no money. Just me, feeling. I believe that's the first time I've ever thought about why I actually run these things. I'll take that answer any day.

Feeling happy! (Photo: The Changs)

The Hokies really crushed it. Again! Everyone finished, and more than a few boasted incredible times. Our team is so BA and I love it when we all get together to do these things. And the breakfast buffet that followed this morning was deeelish. We're actually a fun group now, especially when we don't talk about running (what?!).

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Around the marathon mark yesterday I caught up to Joe Dudak who I met during the Catawba Runaround this past March. I think we're at similar states in regards to our running. I told him I felt a tad "forced" on the day although I ended up feeling progressively better as time went on; I finished quite happy and didn't want to stop! What Joe said really resonated with me. I needed to hear it. He looked at me and said, "Relax. Dude. Your race isn't today. Your race is in five weeks (and so is mine!)." Simple but sincere. Advice like that from someone I respect as a person AND a runner is what these things are about. It's so selfish what we do, yet it's so collective. It's just running and we're all in it together. It should be fun :)

August
438 miles running
57,200' vert
83:08:45 total time with loads of Xtraining

Nuts. Also helps when you run a 50 on the last day of the month.

Best Week Ever

A Last Night of Summer Southernly Commute (Pic: Wyatt Earp)

Typically I'm not one for advertising my training specifically, mainly because it's kind of boring and probably only a small handful of people care, if that. But I'm so stoked on this past week that I wanted to write some thoughts as I wait for my next class (Forest and Tree Pests!); today is my first last day of classes yaaayy! I've recently come to the conclusion that my excitement for academics ebbs and flows like my propensity for extended high-mileage training: frequently and intensely. I'm a vocally emotional person when it comes to my feelings, and its no secret to my training buds that I'm a bit sick of all this running business. Naturally of course. Three 100 mile weeks is perhaps more mentally taxing than physically taxing. My stoke for Gstone is definitely still there, but I just needed a little less running in my life this past week; triathlon training week was the perfect elixir. Week before classes, all my friends back in the Burg, just training, napping, eating well, and a bit of drinking in there, all adds to the best week ever. I intentionally stepped back my mileage but added loads of cross training. How it went down:

M 8-19: am) 9.65 mi trail run (1:37) [1000']. I usually take Mondays off or very low mileage, but the tri team was hitting pandapas and I couldn't resist. Felt quite crappy from the past weekends 30/20 B2B.

T 8-20: am) biked to and from old farm trailhead (:28) [6mi]
             7.7 mi (1:26) [1750'] with BOTH roomies! The three of us haven't ran together in at least a year.
             pm) 8.25 mi road (1:03) [825']

W 8-21: am) OPEN WATER SWIMMING! (:42) [1.6mi]
              pm) core (:16)
              then) 13.75 mi in the dark and thunderstorm (2:12) [2040']


R 8-22: am) ANNUAL MOUNTAIN LAKE RUN! 13.5 mi (1:57:35) [2550']
             noon) bike (1:42) [27 mi]
             then) 3 mi rd w Crowley (:27) [150'] practicing our Gstone "I'm dying" and Crowley's pacing

Split :55 to the top of mtn lake, four mins slower than last year but that's cool cause I'm in peak training and the opposite of fresh as I was last year. Barely any recovery inbtwn that hard effort and the bike ride. The miles at the end were just bonus.

F 8-23: am) 9 mi trail (1:37) [1650']
            then) core (:15)

S 8-24: am) BURKES GARDEN CENTURY BIKE RIDE 103.5 mi (4:57)
            after) 2.6 mi run to river/soak/run back (:22)

AWESOME day. Beautiful weather for my first century. Priory longest bike was 60 mi before Patriot Half Ironman two years ago. The way out had a peloton of about 60 people--reaallly neat and a bit sketchy. Last 40 miles on the pain train pace line with VT tri dudes. Absolutely crushing it. So fun. Way better than a typical long run would have been. Mentally very refreshing.

S 8-25: am) 13.3mi trail (2:10) [2075'] felt pretty crappy from yesterday

Run: 81 mi (12:53)
Vert: 12,060'
Bike: 136 mi (7:03)
Swim: 1.6 mi (:42)
Core: (:31)
Total: 21 hours. First time over 20 since high school swimming. Bingo.

Excited to take a full rest day today, Monday. Haven't done that in 20 days. My body def needs it as my peroneal tendon and shin on my left leg flared up a tad. This week will be easy as Iron Mtn 50 mi is on Saturday which should be a fun time. I'll be mentally ready there and will hopefully have a good day and a good effort without going 100%.

Get some.

Reminiscent of some high school days six years ago? (Pic: JCapp)

Roomies! Crowley freaking out (Pic: JCapp)

Should have closed my legs... (Pic: JCapp)

Some rad tri folks (Pic: JCapp)

Summer Runnin'

My Durham summer is winding down and I'm extremely ready to get back to Blacksburg. The summer has been great in terms of career development but definitely not ideal in terms of training for the Grindstone 100. Despite the fact that no climbs exist within two hours of Durham, I made the best of what I thought was impossible. Of course my vert hasn't been ideal, my time on trails and technical terrain hasn't been ideal, my recovery hasn't been ideal, but I've definitely gotten in the miles and quality workouts.

Adventuring on Old Rag mountain. Photo: Guy Love

I've been fortunate to travel four weekends to the Virginia mountains to get in the long long runs. One trip to Bedford running the Terrapin/Promise Land courses with Jordy Chang, one trip to Shenandoah to run a fun Virginia Happy Trails Running Club event, Sophie's Death March, one trip to Bburg to volunteer at a local 50k, and Bburg last weekend to do my first overdistance strictly training run. That run's numbers included 8000' gain, 35 miles, 8 hours. Extremely fun and very good 100 training. Training on trails every day definitely helps, but I think the majority of ultrarunners don't have that luxury (including me this summer); the biggest thing that matters are the long runs on trails with vert on the weekends and I've mostly been able to do that.

My recovery has been slower than usual. I attribute this to working around 45 hours a week. To accommodate the miles, I sometimes have to wake up super early, getting 7 hours of sleep instead of 8 or 9. That extra hour or two helps a TON. Also, I've done field work three weeks so far this summer which makes training very difficult on those weeks. I still get the miles in, but they're already on tired legs from sledgehammering all day long. 

Lately I've been incorporating a little biking into my routine, mainly because I still want to get outside but don't necessarily want to run. I LOVE biking in the summer. I think 2014 will look something like: one or two big ultras in the winter/spring, then scoring a fast focused marathon, then triathlon in the summer and fall. We'll see. I have no idea where I'll be this time next year. Exciting to think about...I've really enjoyed the biking (yes, it's very minimal, like 35 mins a piece at a VERY easy pace). 

Along with a tiny bit of biking I've been executing workouts, mostly 4-6 mile tempos. I typically run these workouts very well, nailing my goal times. Then most of my other runs are steady or easy. I feel pretty solid, yet my regular easy running has slowed about 45sec/mile than in previous seasons. I feel like I have nothing on the ups, even slight inclines my HR jumps a bit. That being said, my hiking has been steady and solid during the long efforts in the mountains and the flats and downhills feel very good. Interesting. I plan on more consistent vert when I get back to the Burg. 

Poiting out lines. Photo: Jordy Chang

This week has been a scheduled back week. Last week I hit 91 miles, one mile more than my all time high that I hit this past early April. That volume makes me happy, as I still have two months to build and be consistent with high mileage. This next three weeks will be very interesting. They'll hopefully encompass three 100+ mile weeks, with Martha Moats 50k fatass in there which I plan on as just another fun overdistance run. I have no intentions of racing anything before Grindstone. I feel like AJW and Western States, not caring about any race besides the big one. Even so, I don't care that much about Gstone in the competitive sense. I'm excited to see what I can do. It will be a personal race with new personal ground. Ideally I would have legs and be able to run the last 20 miles and catch loads of people there, but who knows, I'm not concerned. All I want is to do my best and feel good about myself.

As this week has been recovery, I've taken it liberally and put in less miles than planned. I think that's the first week I've ever done less miles than planned. I'm listening to my body and am in it for longevity. I'm off for a slow bike ride now :) 

On another note, Geoff Roes wrote an article on "running rhetoric". A responder remarked that "sufferfest" and "deathmarch" are horrible misnomers for what we ultrarunners do. He commented how it's no better to "slog" than to run happy; running happy is better than slogging. We volunteer to partake in these races and have the luxury to put ourselves through pain. What are we trying to prove? "Then I slogged for 10 hours; I deathmarched it in." He was saying, cool for you, but I don't care, stop trying to prove you're tougher than me...That comment really resonated with me; do what you do to push yourself and stop trying to outdo everybody else. Us naturally competitive individuals in the ultra community need to learn this lesson. We need to continue to be mutually supportive yet still competitive. We need to compete together, not against each other. Such actions only make everyone stronger. No bragging. That goes for me too.

...Yesterday I was running (read: gasping) with some Duke grad students who ran track as undergrads. One mentioned how pride is the bane of runners. I agree. I'm swallowing my past race results and am simply focused on what I can do at Gstone. 100 miles does not owe me anything. It is a long way that will hurt and take immense effort.

Keep plugging away. Loving it all.  Beauty. Photo: Jordy Chang

Balance: Stop caring. Stop worrying. Start doing.

After reading two pretty great articles on life-balance I thought I'd respond with some thoughts of my own. The articles are here:

http://www.irunfar.com/2013/06/balance.html

http://www.irunfar.com/2013/06/balance-and-running-living-a-healthy-balanced-lifestyle.html

The authors give great insights, essentially about obsession with running. Both articles have an "I was obsessed & now I'm no longer" theme to them. Both authors were forced to stop running (unlike me where I still run), Geoff because of some weird sickness that he can't pinpoint, and Stephanie because of injury. They've found the positives of not being obsessed with running. They have time for other activities. And I've found the same thing. As this is my blog and I get to selfishly talk about myself, I want to jot down my thoughts. Although this blog is public, I still get to spitball my thoughts, and I believe it's healthy to write.

I find a pattern in college endurance athletes. The pattern was stated by Jordan Chang: kids go into freshman year and join our triathlon team. They dig the endurance aspect and the competitiveness and training. Then they get into longer events and get more interested in the distance aspect and less interested in the cut-throat triathlon vibe. They do an ironman or an ultra, then stray away or quit triathlon club to do their own thing. They get interested in other activities: sometimes longer events, sometimes different sports, sometimes art and design (my roommate who doesn't train a lick anymore. We trained together every single day freshman year). The VT tri team is great--I spent a great year and a half there. Just an observation that this progression occurs.

Bingo! That progression is true for me, and it was true for a number of other athletes who have inspired me to go longer. I think people become interested in other things after they get obsessed. Obsession can only last so long. Lets call it infatuation. You know how you get infatuated with another person? Then the one-month or one-year slump comes around because you've figured the other person mostly out? I think these endurance sports are the same way. I'm not saying I was a pro at triathlon, or that I know everything about ultrarunning (I certainly do not!), but our sport is so cool that it's easy to become infatuated with it and I'm no longer a newbie. Newbies sign up for loads of races, buy all the gear, read all the books and blogs, etc. At least I did.

I was definitely infatuated with ultrarunning for the past year and a half. No, this is not a retirement speech, far from. But I think I was so obsessed that it took away from my life balance. Sure I would still party with my pals on the weekends, but the whole while I'd be thinking about running. Really, I couldn't unplug. I checked irunfar and my extensive blog list every day (irunfar is a great website okay). I think obsession can be mistaken for passion. I realized my passion was a little too much when I told my parents a few weeks ago that "I literally don't care about anything other than running." What? That's no balance. I need a hobby. Taking 15 credits of recreation classes and being co president of a club that's basically just friends doing the same thing is not a hard life, it's fucking luxury and actually kind of bullshit. Sorry for the expletives. But it's true. Ultrarunning is mega fun, but I think it might be much better when it is a hobby and not an obsession.

Now that I have a "real" 40-hr work week summer job, I feel like running has taken a back seat in my daily thoughts. Of course I look forward to my run when I get off work, and I enjoy planning how many miles I'm going to do which day this week. Granted I'm only just getting back into the swing of running for my Grindstone 100 buildup and I just took a few weeks really really easy. But I'm not checking irunfar at 9,11am,3 and 7pm every day. I only check it once. I get off facebook at 9 and read until 945 when I go to sleep. Mostly. Then I wake up anywhere between 545-7am. Making the most of my time.

I just needed a change to get away from my obsession, and I think my internship has provided this outlet. An outlet away from what's usually an outlet (running). That means something's not right. Now that I feel like a decent ultrarunner and I don't care about my pace when I'm running, I find myself in a whole different mindset than how I used to look at the sport. I'm not trying to lose weight to get into good running shape anymore--I like where I am. I know I can finish any 50k or 50mile race if I want to. I believe I'm tough enough to run 100 miles. I'm not incredibly nervous for a 50k any longer. I want to do some kind of expedition, something so absurd that I can get stoked every single day. I need to get west...

Anyway, as I write this it kind of sounds like a burnout letter, which I don't think it is. I just think I'm beginning to put running in its place. Like Dakota Jones says, "after all, it's just running." Running now will have a special place in my every day activities, and I will revel in the minutes and hours I get to run. It is not occupying all of my thoughts. I'm curious about science again. I added another major, I'm going to take an extra-extra class out of interest this fall. I'm mentoring baby freshman and working during the fall semester. I'm also training for the 'stone. I'm basically going to have no free time. Which is good I think. I haven't actually been busy since what, high school? Pathetic. I'm finding balance in my life and I'm digging it.

One of my favorite sayings is "stop caring. stop worrying. start doing."
So that's what I've done.

Perhaps this post is a coping mechanism because I'm not in the mountains (when my friends are! FOMO.) and I know I'm not getting in the ideal training for this fall. But I'm not worrying about it. Not right now at least.

Spring Recap & 50sForYourMomma 50mile

After a fun-filled Feb-April, I wanted something in May. Big miles were logged throughout late winter and early spring, and good races were ran: >100k race (Ga death race) and the best >50k in the east (promise land). My goals for the spring were simple: race less and just have fun! After hellgate in December, I was deeply tired and it doesn't make much sense to race a ton if you want to preform well, so just race less! Performing well to me means doing my best and pushing myself hard. Eyes-wide, heart-beating, legs-burning with all they can give in the late miles of races. I don't think i can accomplish that goal by racing an ultra a month. Such a pace is simply unsustainable. 

I accomplished my spring goals and I am happy. I did end up entering a good number of races, but I treated them as runs and not focus races. And all kinds of distances and surfaces. Because they were not Horton races I was totally cool with running other events. Horton's races are so great and the competition is legit--I feel as though I should RACE those races. And I did not want to race all six races of the beast series, especially because it starts in February. With another season of experience under my belt, I think I have a grasp (grasp only) on this ultra business.

So I ran more than ever and without any true purpose. I logged consistent >75mi weeks, hitting 90 mpw for seemingly no reason at all besides I was loving the constant flow of training. Promise Land was my focus race for the spring semester, but because of its brevity and my not very race specific training, I didn't want it to be the end of my season. Like I said, I wanted something in May.

Escaping time with miles & exploring 

I pondered a few 100s (old dominion mainly) but I didn't want to simply just do my first hundo. I was running fast(ish) and wanted a PR. 50sforyomomma, a race i did as a tune up for my first 50 miler last year, seemed like a good call with it's low-keyness and small entry fee.

Not much special happened in the race, so synopsis: Some triathlete-looking dude disappeared from the gun and I ran a bit with Wyatt. The tri dude dropped out and I basically ran 40 miles in circles alone. Boredom set in around mi 33 but I felt completely fine physically  A full blown taper (mainly from laziness) kept a spring in my step. A very muddy course and two extra miles threw my sub 7:30/45 time goal out the window, so my motivation was a bit low. Some guy passed me and I didn't care. Not in a mad kind of way. I was never mad during this one. I ran decently quickly from the start and enjoyed it. I eventually rallied hard after being passed, passed him, and started dancing on the windy trails. Glove ran with me the last 10 miles and we had fun. The race was over pretty quickly and I was surprised at how easy it seemed (at least from this week-later hindsight as I write). Confidence boost! My family came which was awesome. My sister toted a sign from my triathlon days that read "swim bike run" and she crossed out the swim and bike. I chuckled the entire next five mile lap.

Laughing at the sign

Sometime very early on--no muddy shirt yet

Go UltraVT

So it was a good spring. My running career progressed naturally, me just doing what I wanted to, which is running ample miles and running fast. I said running a lot and running fast, not racing a lot and racing fast. I'd like to race a lot but i'll admit my ego gets in the way: if I do worse than I should have I don't like it. Ultrarunners are egotisitical. And that's ok. It just creates tension spots in the mind every once in awhile. But it doesn't matter.

I'm happy with my progression. After three years I am now ready to train for and run 100 miles, and do it well. My off period from the spring season has been full of family and relaxation and craft beers and getting my hormones back to normal. Plus a wild lake house trip with best friends. 

The infamous "Lake Anna Orgy". It wasn't an orgy, don't worry mom. 

Gstone is a ways away indeed, so I am not rushing my system. Plenty of time. Working in Raleigh NC this summer, it looks like ill be doing lots of flat road running and traveling to the mountains on the weekends. I'm looking to hit at least 4 consistent and quality 100 mi weeks. The specificity of climbing/descending will have to come in August-September for me. Come June first the real training begins. I feel good, I'm hella looking forward to it :) for now: friends, food, drinks, and a little bit of biking.

Forever stoke &
See you round the mountain.

PS) not sure why some of the font is messed up, can't fix it

PPS) My training partner and great friend Glove ran 110 miles in 40 hours at Crewl Jewl this past weekend!! Meeeega inspiring. Dude pushes me. Read his awesome race report here. The UltraVT contingent of us, jordy, and dmack is gonna crush gstone.